in hearts and minds

When nothing seems real
And you’re reaching to grasp,
To comprehend…
To understand…
To figure out why …
Why is life unfair?
Why take a life
So beautiful and rare
Our hearts can only
Endure so much pain
And this, well
This is heart breaking

we love you and miss you
Marci
xoxox

we're done here

this boredom
has brought me
around

and you,
well you
just bring me
down

i'm not 5 and this is over

sure, when
i said it
i meant it

but i also
meant it
when i took
it back

and i will
never be
saying it
again
because i'm not
an indian giver
and all i am now
is bitter

spring break and a hint of summers past

next week
i'll be a
lousy liar
but for today
i'll be your
one true
love

however, i
should have
known
you will ignore
i loved you
when no one
was watching

i'll pretend
it was
better when
you were
standing alone

star blanket

if i could have
one wish
today, on this day
like many other days...
it would be just
to lay
with you
and laugh
under the covers until
the stars become
our blanket
but wishes
are just dreams
we have when we're awake
so today i wish
for winter to end

romantic at heart

i've been
saving up
this memory
of you
in hopes...
hopes that
some day
you'll come
back to me

a bitter valentine

and you're missing out
on the best part...
you're missing out
on me...
and you're stupid...
opportunity of a lifetime,
well, at least a semi-annual time,
and you're blind...
be mine,
be mine,
be mine...

You wanna get dinner some time? -reasons not to speak

you smell like
lemon chicken
... not that it's
a bad thing
i love
lemon chicken
... not that i
love you
or anything
...well, i mean
i love you
as a friend
... not to say
i don't like you
in the other way
... not saying that
i like you
or anything
...yeah,
oh my goodness
i'm hungry
... how about
some
lemon chicken?

# 8

creep into my dreams
flee from memory

and if all else fails.... kyc

because you'll
never stand
for something
low

or

you'll
never stand
to be
put down

or

you'll
never stand
for
one-night-stands

or

you'll
never stand
to take
a hike

or

you'll
never stand
behind
the scenes

or

because you'll
never stand
to take
a seat

these are the ways
you inspire
me
and i will love you
forever
because of it

all around the mulberry bush

I'm 10 years
too old
to play these games
again, except...
here i am
and there you are...
and we're
in the playground...
tag, you're it...
and you smell
and I suck...
and when
we play
spin the bottle (of vodka)
it's rigged
to stop on you

the Queen reigns again # 2 through 7

bloodstain on
the windowpane.

gone to the
east end
to find me some
new friends.

little boys
making noise
with their
broken toys.

bright-lit stars,
passing cars,
friends from mars.

make me scream,
make me cry,
make me dream,
make me lie.

kickstart my heart,
rip it apart.

Am I making myself clear?

and i'm so good
with metaphors and words
and the way they
look so pretty
and there may be
unsung divinity
in this
apologetic delivery
but does it show
how my heart breaks?
does it illustrate
the toll it takes?
so you have fun
tidying
and i'll take time
avoiding
until we can
dance and sing
together again
because friends
don't let other friends
drink and dance...

alone

Queen of one-liners #1

wasting my life away
getting wasted every saturday

once upon a time...

I find you in
a room spiced
with incense
but there are
walls and lines
that we dare
not break or
cross
And so the story
goes...
the story never
told.

"our great depression is our lives"

I am Kelly's
disappointed lust
I am Kelly's
mistaken trust

I am Kelly's
one true love
I am Kelly's
lack thereof

I am Kelly's
low self esteem
I am Kelly's
dismantled dream

I am Kelly's
misused brain
I am Kelly
gone insane

and we never speak of random thoughts

I'll wait to read
what you wish
you could say
because seemingly,
it's better than talking.

Gingerly, I step
onto the street,
brush myself off.

I walk around the
front of this room
while all the while
you're in the back
of my mind.

and I can't help
my disgust for you
while you're so pleased
by my disgust.

and it pulls me closer
closer to the edge of
the middle of nowhere
closer to resolutions
far from resolved.

and in my mind,
i'm disgusted
and you're 5 and pleased.

gingerly, i step
into the room
take my clothes off.