home as a safety net

20 days, that's all it takes...
just get through this... i know you can
and 20 days will make you safe
you've made so many empty promises
to those you loved long ago
all that matters is the ones
you love now...
that they're there to make you safe,
with a bottle of poison
to drink the pain away

toodles

you'll never let me
forget
and i promise i'll never
remember
last night was my
last fight- i crossed the line
today is the day to
be regretful and sad
for tomorrow's the day
i forget you at last

the de-d process

Unhook the machine
My heart didn’t need to beat anyway
It died a long time ago,
About the time you said goodbye.

You didn’t deserve this breath
And so I stopped breathing
I continued living
And died to stop trying

And I begin the process
I walk away from this accident
The wreckage will heal itself
And I will sober myself up

i cried all through
last night
and all i want is
sleep to forget this
day
but i can't because my
bed's not dry yet

combination of personifications

contemptuous eyes,
burn a hole in my soul.
slap me if it makes you feel better,
but be prepared for retaliation.
once so close to my heart,
now a distant annoyance.
stop fucking this up.
you're fucking it up.

potrait of a man a million miles away

when you are so far away (close in mind)
it's so easy to:
read your thoughts (to make them up)
to see your face (fix the blemishes)
to hear your voice (and construct it to my liking)
to miss you for real-
although by this point,
you are unreal

then you kissed me
and i knew in the long run
it was all worth it

taking it off

exposed...
take control..
sleep,
uncut...
pump up the volume...
speachless words,
a kiss...
you are the voice,
stop talking

rearview reflections

if you need a remedy,
don't come to me.
Do you think you can
redeem me?
When you're running so
fast to flee
from me.

Looking back through
a rearview,
cigarette long burnt out.
smile to myself inwardly,
since when were you
so jaded?

shrouds made of glass,
they cut your mouth...
the bottle has
left a bitter scar.

snowmen as soldiers

the summer brought your warmth
it brought the stars i was losing sight of
you were there when he wasn't
i had cancer and i died inside
you were the only one who attended my funeral (with a smile)
now as the cold draws upon me
in this confined space
i can only wish to die again,
to feel the warmth and to see the stars
for now i'll wait for the wind to die down
and for the snow to settle
and maybe i'll find you
amongst the snowmen

i'm counting UFO's
because in my mind, i make it real.
you reciprocate all i spew
and then i find meaning
meaning to me
a meaning to this
the reason all should be unreal

A Year too Early

celebrate a year in advance
because a year from now
I may be dead,
You may be travelling,
or we may have made the
biggest mistake of our ten years
and will be unable to
take it back.
thus,
we celebrate the stars,
that sometimes in life,
random things of beauty
happen out of nowhere
and don't always last
as long as tattoos.
Happy Friend Anniversary
a year in advance.

Copying you for a change

For the lovely lady who has inspired me...
I've decided to copy you for a change.
unfortunately I must inform you these
posts may be lacking in lustre of conversation
regarding you and I.
I will just say this once, and probably never again:
upon reflection of the summer and of your summer blogs
i jump to conclusions about your dislike for me,
but i know there was dislike, and even moreso, disappointment.
I also know that's in the summer, the seasons have changed,
and so have we.
All I want you to know is that no matter what,
if i like you, dislike you, miss you, or can't stand you,
know that I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU and no feeling
is stronger than that.
So insert all the cliches you feel fitting
for this moment and keep on inspiring.
Your words are beautiful, and in dedication:
I try to be more beautiful, like you.