there's always

countdowns...

building up to

disappointments.

and it's been a long time

since i've wrote it all down

but mostly that's because

it's always the same

my insecurities keep

getting the best of me

and we'll yell in the school yard

because we both are too young

but my heart still

sings and dances

and my laughter

still resonates

and that's why i'm still here.

what about you?

forfeit, the victor

screaming to be heard

as it falls on deaf ears

wasting breath just wasting time
wasted hearts through wasted years

closing doors, closing minds
going back to where they're from

tearful hugs and sad goodbyes
to the strangers they've become

both guilty parties
taking paths that each differ

with hopes remain:
that she'll miss him and he'll miss her.

in this reminder of you

today i just needed to hear you breathing,
even if i'm not...
i need to know that what i'm feeling is real and that my
heart hasn't skipped town from my chest.

i don't want to face the crowds with their
pity stares and sad eyes....
i just want to face you...
to look into each others sad eyes....

i am stuck in this reminder of you
without a place to go
and without the strength to go there.

and i wish that i could hate you...
to make it easier on us all
but i'm sorry that you're sorry,
love doesn't work that way.

abandoned christmas

on the discounted shelves

now searching for a way

to sell love to the lovers (loveless?)

you know who you are

missing some people in a serious way.

on this cold and "wintery" christmas day.

of all of the words in all of the world, none of them walked into mine...

i'm speaking in tongues and they're all spitting the same slurs.
my lack of interest in their words has me guessing that we're not speaking the same language.

my shunted spirit wants faraway lands and my dreams reach for stars not yet shining...
(forging the future)

my lapsing memory has me sifting for glimpses of your face...
(missing so much of the past)
{*note: mental photography has never been reliable}

today, the hole in my heart aches for your presence...
(what a painful present)

i knew you.
i lost you.
i love you.
i miss you.

the past can't change today and tomorrow will be just as lonely without you there.

definitions

com-pla-cent (km-plsnt) ADJECTIVE:

Contented to a fault; self-satisfied and unconcerned.



....yep, that sounds about right.